One more try

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

((I know. But instead of saying all of that I just said she was lost. xP))

[Sweetsnow]

but being lost is way diff from falling down in the crowd unable to get up. lol)

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

((Well yeah if want to get technical about it. xP))

[Sweetsnow]

(lol it isnt technical but alrighty. are we still blind?)

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

((Idk you weren't acting blind when you were running and idk if i want Thorny to be out of the game yet so...........))

[Sweetsnow]

(oh well, we'll just pretend sandy cured us till she does cuz she WONT POST THERE *cough**cough*)

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

((LOL okay! xD))

[lightningwind]

((let's all pretend that I too was beingcured by sandy)

[haze]

Hazeclaw saw the apprentice on the ground and smirked.
Hey, almost dead cat. Eh...might be pretty useful. Only one way to find out. Hazeclaw took off towards Spottedpaw and looked at her strangely when he got there. This apprentice had nobody watching over it, nor was it smart enough to even look around. Maybe she wouldn't be a good, useful cat after all...but what the hell, right? All things can come in strange packages, including Sweetsnow/ The ass-biter.

Hazeclaw took the apprentice by the scruff and started to drag her away from the fire and back towards his partner in crime, Lionfire.

[Sweetsnow]

(haha LOL, that is my new title, mess with me and chu get ure ass bit!!! XD)

[spottedkit]

*her breathing is shallow and her head lolls to the side as she is dragged away. she can fell being dragged, but cant consously object. she couldnt tell who it was either, to much smoke and her eyes wouldnt open. she struggled a bit more then gave up, moaning faintly as she fell unconsous*

[whitekit]

(Okay, this is Sandheart just butting in like Flame just did on another thread.


Okay, first of all, Sweet, I know all these changes to the webiste are sudden but the first thing I must tell you is this. TBC Is a Literate website and we don't use * * for posts anymore. It's basically for beginners, and I'm pretty sure you're no beginner. This is more or less what it should look like without the stars.

Her breathing was shallow and her head lolled to the side as she was dragged away. She could feel being dragged, but couldn't consously protest. She couldnt tell who it was either, to much smoke and her eyes wouldnt open. she struggled a bit more then gave up, moaning faintly as she fell unconsous That's a better idea of how it should have been, see the changes?

Another thing: SPELLING AND GRAMMAR.

This really bugs me. You did not capitalize anything in the sentence when it was supposed to be. You spelled Unconscious, Unconsous. And Consciously, Consously. Also, couldnt and wouldnt should be: Couldn't and Wouldn't. Sorry, but this bugs me as well as it bugged Flame and she did this too a few other people.

So here is the way i would've made your post look like by the way.

Spottedpaw's breathing was shallow and short. Her gasps for air coming in going in seconds, she struggled to breath under the smoke and unconsciousness. She could of course, feel who was dragging her, but she was way to weak to even protest. Her caramel black and brown calico bulk was pulled away unnoticed. Everyone had been to busy to notice. Moaning faintly, she struggled to even stay awake. Who was taking her away? She didn't know. Where was the cat taking her? She didn't know. Was is evena cat? she didn't know.

See? That was only 100 something words. Please, just try too improve )

[Evanna]

((Yeah, I had to point out some of the things to Starpaw and Sadie in this thread, Sadie Is Expecting{{Click where it says 'Sadie is Expecting'. Just try to improve guys, this could help you in the future, you never know.))

[lightningwind]

((ok., is this any better RP wise?))

Saidie watched the crumbling forest crash down by the blistering flames. She raced out to a safe place as a HUGE chunk of flaming wood crashed twords her. Saidie ran and ran, the ashes burning wildly on her face. Saidie screamed and ran to the crystal pond about a hundred yards away. Saidie ran faster that she has ever dome before. Without thinking, Saidie leaped for the crystal pool and crashed in it. The splash in the water was nothing to her now. Saidie suddenly felt most of the pain go away. She splashed out of the water andstood there as the great Soulclan terretiry burnt down to ashes.

Skykit raced out of the beaming hot flames. Her grey fur was singed by the flaming hot ashes that flung at her. Skykit youled in pain as she dragged herself to the clan. Skykit watched the forest crumble to ashes as she whispered to Whisperstar, "Will we ever go back?" skykit started to shake in worry. what if we all perish to our deaths? Skykit walked over to saidie to thank her for saving her life.

Word count: 201 ( beat THAT)

[Sweetsnow]

(well sooorrry that was before i read the rules sheesh. it just bugs me tohave to take all that time to spell everything correctly. alot of the times, like when ure in a battle or somthing, its hard to take ure time, u wanna just type as fast as possible to gain the edge. and its a habit, i've always RPed like that so you cant just expect me to snap out of it imediatly and type with perfect grammar. i have no where near perfect grammar or spelling. sn to me its really annoying to have to post in a hurry then you come back and somones telling you how you should have written your post. i dont have the time to check for grammar and spelling, i'll try my best of course, but it rll-- -_- -- really sucks the fun out of it for me to have people tell me how to type my post. i wont get all in ure face over this but plz dont correct me everytime im wrong on grammar or somthing. but i will try. and also, i had no clue on how to spell consciously, i suck at spelling, English never was and still isnt my thing. i am now aware it buggs u, im sorry,but i suck at that stuff)

[Clemence]

Sweet, the post Sandheart commented on is not exactly in the middle of a battle. This thread was really fast for a while, because everyone was posting like crazy but when you posted this, Hazeclaw wasn't even on. He didn't reply. So you could've taken the time needed. Just pointing that out. Also, don't get mad at Sandheart and Flame because they're enforcing the rules. This is a rule all of the admins agreed on and now we're just trying to help people make that transition. It wasn't meant to be a "DO THIS RIGHT OR WE'LL BAN YOU" sort of warning. It was a "new rule, try to do this from now on, let me show you an example" warning. Not even really a warning. And we understand that people don't like spelling, or aren't the best at it, we just ask that you try. That's all.

[Sweetsnow]

i kno it wasnt a battle thing, i was saying when it is, its hard to take your time, u wanna do it fast. and i know he wasnt on, but i was in hurry, i was busy that day, i had to go do some other things so i was trying to hurry. and im not mad at them, i was just cranky yesterday. no rl reason either, i just was lol
and i sed i would try, but im definatly promising anything, cuz literature is definatly not my forte (spelled that wrong, but dont know how its spelled )
an since we're pointing things out ( i dont mean to sound like an ass but this will probably make me sound like one anyway), i didnt agree. but i kno, i wasnt on. ive been busy, cuz aparently my teachers think its fun to give us big point assighnments at the end of the year. i had two 200 point assignments and one 400 point one, so ive been a little busy *mutters about teachers bad timing*

[Sweetsnow]

( i re-read my post an i sound a bit like a jerk 0_o)

[Clemence]

((a bit -_- you may not have agreed, but like you said, you weren't on. The admins who replied agreed, and we went from there.))