Saidie is EXPECTING!! ()^.^()

[lightningwind]

Saidie walks into the queens den. It smelled like warm milk and herbs. Saidie made her nest and sat down. Saidie swishes her tail in a soft way. She yawned. She was joint to have kits soon and they are allready killing her.

Skykit bounced around camp, happy as can be. Skykit ran into the nursery. Skykit did not have a mommy yet... But she could eat meat. Skykit raced out of the nursery and around camp she went. Causing havoc to the clan.

Saidie hummed a tune that soothed her. She layed down and watched skykit pkay over and over again. Saidie soon, fell Asleep.

[dogfang]

Dogfang walked into the nursery, carefull not to wake his sleeping mate. The nursery was a bit to small for him. The tips of his ears and tail were touching the top of it. He had a warm, plump mouse dangling from his jaws. He set it down beside Saidie for when she woke up. He gave her an affectinate lick and layed down beside her, purring. He was going to have kits! Kits with the cat of his dreams! He looked down at Saidie, admiring her bueaty. Even in sleep she was the most bueatiful cat he had ever seen.

[lightningwind]

Saidie was dreaming about something.. Something coming. Deathclan? Yeah.. Their usuall. They were attacking her and... Joypaw! This was a memory of her past! The death of Joypaw and how she came back from the dead! Saidie dealt the same ways. Then, saidie woke up to see dogfang. " hello dogfang." saidie nuzzled him.

[dogfang]

'' I'm sorry, did I wake you? '' he mewed quietly as he nuzzeled Saidie back. His mate was already startng to look a bit plump. '' I brought you something to eat, if you're hungry. '' he said pawing the mouse towards her. '' You were moving in your sleep Saidie, have ants in your pelt? '' he said jokingly, nudging her gently. Though he had said it as a joke, he really wanted to know. Was his mate having nightmares while expecting? He hoped not. '' How are you feeling? '' he asked her. He knew the kits still had a while but he wanted to make sure Saidie was comfertable at all times.

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

Shimmerkit, lonely and bored, decides to stray from her mother. She tumbles around and then trips over Saidie's tail. With an "Umph!" she gets back up to explore this new obstacle thoroughly. Hopefully, there would be some milk too. Sniffling around, she then bumps into a REALLY big cat paw. She sniffs it and decides that it is a male, so there's no milk over there. So she climbs over this HUGE paw, falling as she tried to get her back leg over. Sniffling and shaking her head, she starts to meow pitifully for her mommy because she is tired.

[lightningwind]

LOL saidie purrs at Shimmerkit. "your mommy's that way, Shimmerkit."

[dogfang]

(( lol Thorny. Shimmerkit just seems so cute! )) Dogfang chuckled softly as Shimmerkit stumbled over his HUGE paws. '' Yes Shimmerkit, your mum is that way. '' he said gently nudging Shimmerit towards Spottedsun with one of his HUGE paws. '' Soon you'll have someone to play with Shimmerkit. '' he said looking at Saidie and smiling. '' We're gonna have kits just as cute Saidie. '' he said happily. Dogfang flicked is tail back and forth, having Shimmerkit chase it. '' Do you have any names in mind Saidie? '' he asked her. He didn't have any ideas so he hoped his mate did. He thought for a second then thought of one. '' Maybe if one has the looks, we could name him Bearkit. '' he said knowing it wasn't that good of an idea.

_____
word count: 130

[lightningwind]

Saidie thought for a moment... Her father who was a loner was named Sorrel. Sorrelkit. saidie thought it over for a second. She liked the name Sorrelkit and it would be a good name. Sorrelkit and bearkit.... Two nice names...
(( btw, I'm thinking of to for the girl))

[Starpaw]

*pads into den*Ah,sadie here you go*sets herb down*Borage,to help your milk come.Its not very pleasant but it only lasts for about an hour.And*turns*Shimmerkit,you and your sisters will have to be careful when saidies kits arrive.No rough hosing or anything else.*back to saidie*Anyways.When you finish the herbs,I suppose i could get you a mouse to wash it down.And you*turns to spottedsun*always make sure saidies fine.If she says she feels anything,give me or sandheart a holler.*sniffs air*Well ive got to go collect herbs.See ya!.*pads shyly away,avoiding dogfangs gaze and him altogether*

[dogfang]

Dogfang glanced at Starpaw but she didn't look back. She must be busy with all these so called warriors complaining about their little cuts. he thought to himself. He turned back to Saidie. '' Sorrelkit is a great name Saidie. I talked to Sandheart before I came in, she said at about your size she's guessing two kits. '' he said proudly. '' You better eat those herbs, you want to be healthy for our kits. '' he said eyng the borage leafs Starpaw had left for his mate. '' Now if you need anything, and I mean anything at all don't hesitate to give me a hollar. And that's an order. '' he said licking Saidie affectionatly.

[lightningwind]

"Thank you dogfang and Starpaw." saidie yawned. She layed down ready to sleep as the other's left the room. Saidie purred, " I love you dogfang.." saidie purred herself to sleep.
In her dreams, two kits were playing. Saidie smiled. Then, statclan swept in and whispered, " May starclan be with you...."
Saidie heard the cats youling in delight as she walked in the forest. Saidie broke to a run and reached the kits. One looked small but it was a male. One was a HUGE she-cat. Saidie smiled. The she-cat whispered, " Sorrelkit..."

Word count: 96

[Starpaw]

I AM UR FATHA!!!!!!((?))

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

((xD lol))

[lightningwind]

XD

[Evanna]

((I'm sorry to just burst in like this, but Sadie and Starpaw, I can't help but notice there are a lot of spelling errors here and I just HAVE to point them out or they will irritate me to death. You are posting the way we told you NOT to post. First off - Sadie -, when posting, you do not use 'XD' in RP mode, that is what the OCC is for. Please remember that. Another is that you have,

"Saidie was dreaming about something.. Something coming. Deathclan? Yeah.. Their usuall. They were attacking her and... Joypaw! This was a memory of her past! The death of Joypaw and how she came back from the dead! Saidie dealt the same ways. Then, saidie woke up to see dogfang. " hello dogfang." saidie nuzzled him."

The correct literate RP would be,
Sadie was dreaming about something. Something was coming, closer and closer, just waiting to strike, hiding somewhere in the shadows, only StarClan knew what it was. DeathClan? More or less likely...they're usual. They were attacking her...and Joypaw! Where was she? What if the DeathClan cats had caught her while Sadie hadn't been looking? Wait a moment..this was a memory of her past! The death of Joypaw and how she somehow - by StarClan's power! - came back from the dead! Sadie had dealt the same ways, of course.

Suddenly, a rush came over her and she woke to find Dogfang, standing beside her. "Oh...hi, Dogfang." She meowed, still a bit shaken and she blinked at him for a couple empty seconds, then nuzzled him.

Somewhere along the lines of that, try to be more descriptive. And for another, that was only 55 words. We require at least 100 in a post, I am sure you can reach that mark, you aren't an 8 year old, I am hoping. If you use the word count at the bottom of the page, my rewrite of your post was 128 words. Which is better?
"The frisbee flew through the air"

or

"The frisbee zipped through the air, spinning wildly out of control and not stopping till the wind had hit it out of the air and it fell upon the wet, damp grass."

And as for your other post,
'LOL saidie purrs at Shimmerkit. "your mommy's that way, Shimmerkit."'

and

'"Thank you dogfang and Starpaw." saidie yawned. She layed down ready to sleep as the other's left the room. Saidie purred, " I love you dogfang.." saidie purred herself to sleep.
In her dreams, two kits were playing. Saidie smiled. Then, statclan swept in and whispered, " May starclan be with you...."
Saidie heard the cats youling in delight as she walked in the forest. Saidie broke to a run and reached the kits. One looked small but it was a male. One was a HUGE she-cat. Saidie smiled. The she-cat whispered, " Sorrelkit..."'

The correct formatting for that post would be,
((OOC: LOL))
Sadie purred and looked at the kit - Shimmerkit - affectionately. She couldn't wait till her own kits were born. She remembered clearly that morning walking into the nursery and finding Spottedsun curled up beside her kits, asleep. She then promised herself she would have her own, with her true love - who was Dogfang, of course. No one else.

"Your mommy is that away, Shimmerkit." the she-cat purred, pointing her tail-tip towards Spottedsun, not far away from Sadie's own nest. She blinked a couple times before turning back to Dogfang and smiling a lot, though staying silent as if waiting for her mate to speak before her.

or something like that. And the other should be something like,
"Thank you Dogfang and Starpaw." Sadie meowed, yawning loudly. Her sharp, bone-white, pointed teach showed about one second before she closed her jaws again, blinking at the cats sleepily. She was starting to feel rather tired, now that she thought about it. She lay her tired head onto her paws, ready to sleep as the others left the small, comfy den.

Sadie murmured quietly, "I love you." she then purred herself to sleep.
-----------------
She was dreaming. She had to be. In her dream, two kits were playing. But they weren't hers. She hadn't even HAD her kits yet. She smiled at them either way, they were so cute. Then, StarClan swept in and whispered, "May StarClan be with you..."

Sadie heard cats yowling in delight as she walked into the forest. It was eerily quiet in a strange way. The forest in which SoulClan resided in was always loud, birds fluttering about. This was weird. She broke into a run and reached the two kits. The smaller of the kits was a male, that was quite obvious just by the way he acted towards the female - she thought it was. The other was a huge she-cat and for a moment, Sadie blinked in confusion. That was no kit; It was too big. Before Sadie could said anything, the she-cat whispered, "Sorrelkit..."

Using more description is more interesting, the way you are writing, makes the reader loose interest and move onto something else, for the way I had used it, got the reader hooked.

I suggest you go to RP School, just for a bit of help.

Now onto Starpaw. Your post said,

"*pads into den*Ah,sadie here you go*sets herb down*Borage,to help your milk come.Its not very pleasant but it only lasts for about an hour.And*turns*Shimmerkit,you and your sisters will have to be careful when saidies kits arrive.No rough hosing or anything else.*back to saidie*Anyways.When you finish the herbs,I suppose i could get you a mouse to wash it down.And you*turns to spottedsun*always make sure saidies fine.If she says she feels anything,give me or sandheart a holler.*sniffs air*Well ive got to go collect herbs.See ya!.*pads shyly away,avoiding dogfangs gaze and him altogether*"

For one, we do not use "**" for that is somewhere along the lines of a begginer RP site and we are a 12+ site, (Around there) and we RP. Your post was around 90 words, which is good, but try to get it more descriptive, to start with and get it around 100.

The correct way would be,
Starpaw padded into the Queen's Den. She had a couple green herbs in her mouth and her paws hardly touched the ground as she padded in, muffling something. She then noticed she needed to put the herbs down to speak. She set down them down and looked at Sadie, "it's borage." she explained, flicking her tail a bit as a small, mini cloud of red dirt rose.

"Its not very pleasant." The medicine cat apprentice added, "But it only lasts for about an hour. And..." She then turned to Shimmerkit, "Shimmerkit, you and your sisters will have to be careful around Sadie's when her kits arrive. No rough housing in here or anything of that kind, you could hurt them and the future of the Clan. Then again, you guys may be apprentices around that time." She didn't wait for an answer and turned back to Sadie, "When you finish the herbs, I suppose I should go get a mouse to wash it down, but water would more than likely be better."

"And you." she turned to Spottedsun, "Always make sure Sadie is fine. If she says she feels and pain or she thinks the kits are just about coming, just yowl out or get someone to come get us." She blinked for a moment and opened her mouth, letting a scent hit the roof of her mouth, "I'm sorry," She apologized to the queens, "But I have to go. I may be back later." She shyly padded away, not even glancing at Dogfang and trying to avoid him all together.

And as for your other post, "I AM UR FATHA!!!!!!((?))".

THAT is a big no-no! Apparently I have to talk this way because I am talking to a 5 year old! Wait, what's that? Your NOT 5? I would have never known! My brother is only 7 and I am sitting right beside him and he just outright said, "She spelled that wrong! It should be, 'I am your father'.". A 7 YEAR OLD! FOR GOODNESS'S SAKES! COME ON. If a 7 year old can see this SURELY YOU CAN I am sorry! But if you really are 5, then you do not belong here!

I am not trying to be mean, but I would really love to see you show that to a college student! Either of you, they would get a GOOD LAUGH out of that!

And did you notice how my correction post was? Mine was 267 words, of course you wouldn't HAVE to get around there, but it would be nice. Your grammar is incorrect and needs to be sharpened.

I also suggest you go to RP school.))