Star-Gazing ((Also An "In Dear Memory" thread))

[starpaw]

Starpaw, unable to sleep, walked out of the Apprentices' Den. She sighed and headed towards the middle of the SoulClan camp where cats gathered for meetings when their leader, Tigerlily, summoned them.
She sat down and looked up, thoughts going through her mind as fast as lightning. Do I really belong here? Do ThunderClan miss me? Did Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight even notice that I was gone? Do SoulCLan accept me? Does my destiny lie here, or ThunderClan? ...what am I supposed to do?
Starpaw sighed as she thought, gazing up at the small balls of white fire hanging in the sky.
"I wonder what it's like to be a star," she murmured, thinking still.
"To die and join StarClan, to be a star." she sighed again, the thoughts coming back again. "Do I really belong here? All the warriors that died in the RiverClan and WindClan raid, just because of their countless attacks. Sandstorm, Dustpelt, Stormfur, Lionblaze, Leafpool, they all died protecting their Clan. Is that how I'm supposed to die? Striked down by an enemy warrior as I fight fiercely in battle, to protect. Many have died here in SoulClan as well. Stormclaw, Icefire, Rainclaw, are you up there? Are you watching over your Clan?"
Starpaw's ears pinned back as the stars remained silent. "StarClan, where are you in my time of need...? I need you, Sandstorm. I need your wisdom. I need you, Stormclaw, Rainclaw, Icefire...why did you kill yourselves? There wqas no purpose...was there?"
A small tear slid down as she thought of her friends. Icefire, her beautiful laugh. Stormclaw's cheerful eyes. Rainclaw's hyperness and his crazy desire to protect his Clan.
"All of you will be remembered, no matter what happens." She murmured.
((OCC: I made this thread in memory of Rainclaw, aka Cory; Stormclaw, aka Sam. And Icefire, aka Kayla. They killed themselves in real life, I don't know why though...*Sigh*))

[icepaw]

Icepaw looked out to see Starpaw staring at the sky. Icepaw followed her gaze up to the sky, then noticed three stars twinkling brighter than the others. She smiled.
Quickly, she made her way over to Starpaw.
"Hey." She meowed quietly, seeing the tear fall down her face. "It's okay. I'm sure they're watching." She purred, looking up. She smiled.

[starpaw]

Starpaw looked at Icepaw, knowing she had been there at all. She had heard the medicine cat's paws as they swept over the hard ground. Though, she had not expected her to speak.
"Oh, hello Icepaw." She meowed, shuffling her paws over the hard-backed ground. "Couldn't sleep either? Won't you be too tired for your training with Tangletail tommorrow?" Starpaw asked after a few moments of silence. "Has Tangletail taught you anything? Like Battle-moves?"

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

He is sitting there listening to Tigerlily. He hears something and looks around excitedly, then frowns in confusion and stares at his paws. Then he looks up at the stars, searching...

[starpaw]

Seeing that Icepaw isn't going to answer, Starpaw trotted over to Thornclaw.
"Hi," She murmured.

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

~looks at her~ "oh hello..."

[starpaw]

"How's the hunting going?" Starpaw asked, trying to make conversation but apparently failing badly.
She looked down at her paws, thought still going through her mind.

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

"Good I guess. Hey, are you ok?"

[starpaw]

Starpaw hesitated, not sure if she should tell the warrior. I guess I can tell him, I do trust him after all. though, she was still unsure.
"I'm not sure if I belong in SoulClan," Starpaw confessed uncertainty clear on her. The doubt flowed off of her in waves, and she was sure that even Thornclaw could sense it.
"I'm not sure if ThunderClan is my home, or SoulClan. But I don't want to be shunned, like I was back in ThunderClan." She hesiated again. "And I bet most of the apprentices there are already warriors. Blackpaw and Spiritpaw for instance. And I bet so are Foxpaw and Icepaw. They always called me names. At least here, in SoulClan, I'm not ignored. I was hoping to be the medicine cat, but Icepaw is so...that choice is closed. But I highly doubt I could be medicine cat, no one would want me even near them if they're injured." Bitterly, she added. "They would probably think I was trying to kill them or something."

[silvermooon]

No one would think that. ~ Padds in behind the apprentice and warrior, her eyes feirce~ Who would even think that about you? Your a verry good cat.

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

Pauses for a sec, then says, "It's tough, coming somewhere new. I know. I wasn't the most popular cat at my old Clan. I had doubts when I came here too. But be confident, and I'm sure people will like you.

[starpaw]

At Silvermoon approaching, Starpaw immedately straightened up. Her ears pricked up as she listened to the two senior warriors.
Still having doubts, but less than before, she nodded. "Your right." Starpaw mewed. "I'll get used to it, I'm sure."

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

nods,"That's the spirit!"

[starpaw]

She grinned back up at Thornclaw, purring. And then turned to Silvermoon. "Thank you, Silvermoon, Thornclaw." She mewed. "It really helps that I have friends here."

[Thorn//\\Dark||Shimmer]

Grins too, "Your welcome."

[Clemence]

Stormclaw/Icegaze killed himself?

[tanglestar]

Yeah.....Star's over here like...cutting herself because she's like all depressed.....I'm sad too, but I'm not going to cut myself...that's just awkward O.O

[Clemence]

why are all your friends emo/suicidal?

[starpaw]

((We're not all emo and suicidal! And I don't really cut myself like Flameshadow did. She totally messed up her wrists and she's going to have very long scars. I only...cut a couple times and I make sure I don't hit veins.
And Icefire killed herself because Stormclaw had, I think she liked him. I don't know, and Rainclaw killed himself...I don't know when, I never met him. He had already killed himself by the time I had met Flameshadow at Foley Middle School.
Now, Slyclaw/Ryan, is what I call suidical right now. He hasn't been in school for almost a month, he cuts himself nonstop, and Brackenclaw/Jacob's grades are going down because of Slyclaw.
You see, Jacob's 1st period class is Advanced and Physicial Math. And every morning he basically has to drag Ryan to school, so almost every morning he misses Math and he is really pissed off about that considering if he fails math, then he will have to repeat the 8th grade.))

[starpaw]

((Tigerlily, did you read that?))